I am laying in my bed on the floor. Surrounded by dusty pink pillows and fairy lights, I stare out of the floor-to-ceiling window of my new apartment in Washington DC. I have come a long way. A way different than expected; a way leading to other destinations than planned.
Exactly one year ago from today, that way was leading me to the point of questioning my whole existence. Why did this happen to me?
How did I allow a person like that into my life, let alone so close to me? Doesn't this only exist in the movies? I still remember everything, and especially how it felt. I can never forget that. Exactly one year ago from now, I broke up with the person I was in love with. The reason why I had to break up with him, was because he happened to be a compulsive liar.
It took me a long time to realize what I actually went through. It's not something you consider as a possibility when you fall in love with someone.
It's not even something you consider when you fall out of love either.
Sometimes I still want to believe him. For a person that always wants to be right, I've never wanted to be wrong so badly in my life.
The first time we met was at a park. It was one of the first warm days of Summer. He bought me a frozen yoghurt with strawberries and chocolate, and Am i hookup a compulsive liar talked for a long time about our life's histories on a park bench. Although he had a certain shyness surrounding him, he was quite open about the personal questions I asked. I remember being a bit stand-offish, but his honest answers made me feel more comfortable. It was a lie. Our first date was a success, so more dates followed.
I felt like he was more mature than any other guy I dated before him. It seemed like we had many things in common, especially when it came to our ambition and work ethic. We had a deep understanding and respect for each others professional goals. This made me feel comfortable with him, because at that time I was really seeking acknowledgement for the hard work I was putting into something a lot of people were sceptical about.
His constant support and easy, flexible attitude made me grow fonder and fonder of him. He was the type of person that would always say yes if I had a crazy idea. He was the type of person that knew what I wanted even if I did not ask for it. He was the type of person that was happy if I was happy.
It's hard for me to write this following part without being the omniscient narrator of my own story. I cannot tell this story in chronological order, without telling you what I know now.
This story is not made to be told in the ordinary order of time. It's the things that I discovered later that carry the heaviest weight. I wanted to use this intermezzo to describe what I know now about him, and compulsive liars in general. Everyone lies once in a while.