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Heimlich sex position

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Sex is part of the restaurant business.

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Eating and sex are both activities physically linked to the emotion governing limbic system of the brain. I know this is true because several couples have told me they conceived their children after eating in my bistro.

That bathroom sink can only take so much. Every night, waiters the world over lubricate the age old process of boy meets girl, boy buys girl dinner, girl makes boy breakfast.

How many of us have raided the fridge after an evening Heimlich sex position libidinal delight? Yes, eating and sex are linked. Good waiters know this and try to promote that possibility.

But waiters are not immune to the Siren call of carnality that surrounds them.

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A few months ago two of my waiters, lets call them Dylan and Erica, did just that. They actually make a cute couple and, gratefully, do a good job of keeping their personal bullshit out of the workplace.

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Whenever two waiters hook up — if you have a problem with one you sometimes have a problem with both. Dylan and Erica seem to be getting serious. I wish them well.

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Love is priceless in this world. Dylan and Erica took it in fairly good humor. I arrive early before the dinner shift and clock in.

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Shlomo, our token Jewish waiter, is counting the days take from lunch. One of the drawings demonstrates what to do if the choking victim loses consciousness.

Basically, you lay Heimlich sex position poor bastard on the floor, sit astride them, straddling your legs on either side of their lower torso, leveraging your arms to apply sharp upward abdominal thrusts to dislodge a foreign object. On our particular poster the victim is male and the rescuer female. I guess you know where this is heading.

Sex is part of the...

After the meeting breaks up I cover up the dirty bits with a magic marker. Customers look at the poster and giggle.

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Dylan and Erica ignore it. I ask Fluvio to get a new poster.

One day a customer, or inspector, is going to freak. Fluvio keeps promising to get a new one.

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Fishy is completely correct! In the serving business sexual innuendos is a norm of every day life. And when 2 waiters start a sexual or serious relationship they know that they are going to get razzed by the rest of the staff.

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People always look at me crazy when I try to describe how good the food was at a place…. Your email address will not be published.

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The Heimlich Position by waiter Mar 1, Uncategorized 6 comments. That is until………………… I arrive early before the dinner shift and clock in.

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Heimlich had in mind. Trust Shlomo to take it to the most prurient level. The other waiters amble in for work. Dylan and Erica see the poster and are mortified. If you choke in my restaurant you might be in for a surprise.

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